writing

WALT:  Use precise adjectives in our writing to add interest to our readers

Adjectives	Nouns	Verbs	Adverbs
dark	warehouse	running	fast
dusty	bikes	walking	slow
cold	Torches
scary	bike

                                   

One day my friends and i went on a bike ride then we found an old

warehouse. we kicked the door down then we went in side it was very

cold and dusty then went into a scary dark room then we turned on our

torches then we looked down then we saw a dead man then we ran fast

\out of the building then we jumped on our bikes  biked home then we

never went back to the old warehouse again.

Self assessment...  Done well… One day my friends and i went on a

bike ride then we found an old warehouse.

Work on… we jumped on our bikes  biked home then we never went

back to the old warehouse again.

I like how you didnt start the story in the building but you used then

too much next time you shouldn't use too many of the same word

and I also liked how you said you ran out and never came back

to the old warehouse again.